Rachel from Wisconsin shared a long dream with me:
I work with Laura and Jean who are featured in this dream. We have volunteered for a charity function which is being held in a theatre. There are two lines at the entrance of the theatre. One line is for volunteers and the second line is for people attending the event.
Attending a function as a customer is different than being a volunteer. A customer is there to examine, enjoy and “buy” something, whether it’s an experience (like movies) or an object (clothing). A volunteer is connected to the function and has a privileged status of being part of the event (a ticket seller or saleswoman).
I’m in the first line and beside me on the second line is an older man who’s wearing casual working-man clothes. He’s unshaven, unkempt and looks a little disreputable. When he talks, I can see that he has an upper tooth missing. He’s holding a little boy about two years old. The boy leans in to kiss the old man, and the man turns his head enough to accept the kiss on his mouth, and he begins French-kissing the little boy. I’m horrified, but I notice that most of the others on both lines don’t seem at all upset by this event. I want to report this pedophile to someone, but I don’t have my phone.
Standing next to me is Laura, and when I ask her to look at the old man and little boy, she doesn’t seem at all disturbed by what she’s seeing. I ask to borrow her phone, so I can take a picture of this man. She takes so long at finding her phone that by the time she hands it to me, the old man and little boy are no longer kissing. I phone my roommate, who’s a licensed therapist, to ask for advice on how to handle the situation. My roommate understands my anger, but she firmly cautions me that I can’t do anything without proof. By now I’m inside the theatre.
I’m wearing my volunteer uniform, so people are approaching me to ask questions. An old man sees me and starts talking to me. I notice he’s missing an upper tooth, and I recognize that it’s the old man who had been kissing the little boy. He asks me a question, and I want to make sure he’s the pedophile I had seen in line, so I maneuver our conversation to ask him if he’s here alone or with others. He bristles at me and insists that whether he’s alone or with others has nothing to do with his question to me. Meanwhile, he’s joined by a woman carrying the very same little boy I’d seen him carrying in line, so now I have my confirmation. As they walk away from me, I take their picture. Still, there’s nothing I can do because I can’t prove at this point that the old man is a pedophile.
During lunch time, the volunteers gather in the eating area. I notice that the servers, waiters and other service employees are Chinese, Japanese, MidEastern, and non-Caucasian types. They’re all wearing uniforms from their native countries as if to emphasize their "alien" status. Then I notice that my co-worker, Jean (who is Asian), is among the servers. She is acting submissive and self-effacing. She serves me noodles and I tell her it’s too dry and I need some sauce. She pours sauce into my noodles and now it’s too wet. She’s very apologetic and submissive. I’m shocked. In real life, she is a respected team leader and can kick ass when she needs to.
In the end, I’m not comfortable eating with the customers nor the other volunteers, so I end up eating alone at my own table.
I’m going to oversimply my opinion of the nature of human reality in order to interpret this particular dream. Some people say that the purpose of life is to be happy, or to prove mastery at some skill, or to excel at athletics. These are all valid points, but not everyone is happy, nor a master craftsman, nor an Olympic athlete.
However, the one thing all humans share is the EXPERIENCE of life. So, I postulate that life is about experience. It’s something EVERYONE shares in common. Even a yogi meditating in a cave is experiencing something.
Again, to oversimplify, we can experience life from three basic foundations: Those who live; those who judge; and those “volunteers” in the middle who act as a bridge between them.
Those who live is everyone alive participating in our current reality. A thief is in the first category. A policeman who sees the criminal stealing an old lady’s purse is a “judge” who decides the thief is guilty of a crime and arrests the thief. A volunteer can be all three. She might be a witness to the crime and can agree to help the judges prevail in finding the thief guilty, or she might refuse to be a witness so she can just live her life like an ordinary citizen.
Rachel’s friend, Laura, who is a volunteer, chooses not to judge the right or wrong of the French-kissing old man. She doesn’t want to get involved. Rachel herself, however, judges that the old man is abusing the small boy and is a pedophile. She believes in the “wrongness” of the old man’s action, and she wants to do something about it.
Rachel’s therapist roommate is in the “judge” category. A therapist has to judge whether a client is experiencing “wrongness” in life, and if she deems that it’s the case, she will try to help the client overcome that wrong “experience.” But, being in the “judge” category, the roommate has required codes of conduct, and having sufficient proof before accusing someone of a crime is a required code.
Another “wrong” in life is prejudice against race, sexual orientation, or belief system (religious or otherwise). The cafeteria scene where ethnic types are seen as a lower form of human life is a great example of this. Again, our dreamer is shocked that such discrimination still exists. She herself has witnessed her Asian co-worker, Jean, making executive decisions efficiently and successfully. Why should Jean act according to how other people think she should?
Rachel, you are among the few who straddle all three functions. Not only do you experience life according to your own terms, you are willing to recognize “wrong” situations in your environment and do something about it.
However, life experiences lose texture and meaning when you are sitting alone at a table and not interacting with anyone. You are alone because you have removed yourself from participating in life because you are "judging" others. I believe you received this dream because your inner soul is sending you a message. I suggest that message is: We are ALL one. We are ALL experiencing life together. Of course you will see so-called "injustices," but you cannot “right” every “wrong.” Humans have free will and some humans will choose to experience the criminal or prejudiced lifestyle.
This doesn’t mean that you blind yourself like your co-worker Laura does. Nor does it mean that you sanction prejudice of any kind. As a volunteer, you can choose the role of witness without personal judgement of individuals. To paraphrase a famous AA saying, “Accept what you cannot change, find the courage to change what you can, and apply wisdom to know the difference.”
If you can find the serenity to live by this code, you won't be alienating yourself from the wondrous human "experience" of being alive.
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