SINKING IN DENSE WATER

Elayne from Missouri sent me her dream to interpret:

I was at a reservoir.  It was surrounded by a cliff and I was somewhere on a rise above the water where there were two-feet-high ceramic pieces which formed a fence around the water.  I knew the pieces could be plucked out of the ground to be used to slide into the water.  I think to myself, “Wow, these aren’t even big enough for me to use.”  I wanted to investigate the ceramics and one comes off in my hand.  Suddenly I’m in the water.  I try to swim but instead I’m sinking.  The water isn’t buoyant enough for swimming.  It’s too dense.  I’m not panicked… maybe alarmed, but not like “Oh no, I’m gonna die!”

I want to use the ceramic as a paddle, but it doesn’t work.  I throw it away.  I have some money in one hand and I decide to tuck the money on top of my bathing suit so I can have two hands for swimming.  Except the water is too dense and I can’t surface.  I’m sinking.

Water is emotions.  Reservoirs are traditional, established modes of providing people with drinking water.   Elayne, you are being told that this dream is about a traditional, established situation which supports an emotional situation.  This is about the institution of MARRIAGE.

The cliffs are meant not only to contain the water, but to protect it.  This refers to the fact that marriage is an institution which has moral codes to keep it private and protected.  What goes on within the marriage structure – husband, wife and children – have certain standards of behavior.

Within the parameters of married life, all participants create their own personal means of handling the emotional challenges which surface. You, Elayne, have applied a crafty way of dealing with the challenges.  You have surrounded your married life with CREATIVE pursuits (ceramic fencing) to provide a “fun” way to deal with emotional challenges (like “sliding” into your emotions so it becomes a fun game).

Except… The creativity you bring is simply not “big” enough to sustain your game.  In fact, you often find yourself “sinking” into the water.  Your psyche is telling you that you’re still in danger of drowning under the emotional challenges of married life.  I would suggest that you have already discovered “happily-ever-after” is not the norm in married life.  You have already felt certain regrets and disillusionments about certain aspects of marriage.

First of all, as you know, this happens very often.  This is why divorces occur subsequent to many marriages.  Personally, you are determined to make it work, somehow.  Perhaps you feel too many people would be hurt if you get out of the marriage.  Perhaps your sense of personal integrity won’t allow you to escape this commitment.

But none of these things are enough to help you "paddle" to a happier, more sustainable position.  It is not a light, enjoyable emotion (water) you are immersed in.  You wouldn't have gotten into the water in the first place if it wasn't fun and enjoyable.  But the situation has changed.  That water has become thick.  It is "dense"... something thick, heavy... something which weighs you down.  

The money in your hand is significant.  It suggests you possess valuable assets (money) to help you deal with the emotions you're immersed in.  You are smart, strong, resourceful, responsible and loyal.  These things are enough to "buy" your patience in dealing with your inescapable dilemma.

Because you don't have the "tools" to get you out of this water, you accept your fate.  The tools of saving yourself are often judged as “selfish” (I need to get out of this reservoir no matter what it takes), tough practicality (kill or be killed) or other (therapy, drugs, extramarital affairs, etc.).  None of these suit you, so you have decided you will somehow bide your time and accept circumstances as they are and hope you can manage to stay afloat through it all.

Ultimately, you may be forced to find a resolution.  Either that water has to become light and buoyant again, or the density of the emotional challenges in your marriage will drag you down, and you will “die” in some way, whether emotionally, mentally, spiritually or even physically.

Personally, I don’t believe in right and wrong.  Life is about experience, and it’s how we conduct ourselves through the experience that defines us.  You have free will to do what’s necessary to sustain flotation in the waters of your marriage.  Is there a log nearby you can hang on to?  Or would it be better to find the shallows and drag yourself out of the water.  It’s your choice, and yours alone.