RUNNING-AWAY DREAMS

This dream is from a young man, an only child, introduced to me by a friend.  I knew his background.  As a young boy, he began having doubts about his sexuality, drawn to the males in his school rather than the females. All his life, his parents had impressed upon him the importance of family and the sacredness of family tradition.  They expected him to take over the family business when the time came, and they expected him to find a nice girl, marry and continue the family legacy.  He’s now a young adult with a good job, though not necessarily in the line of the family business.  He’s still unmarried… and still bound to the expectations of his parents.

In my teens, I began to have recurring dreams.  I’m being chased by some people.  I don’t know why or who they are.  I’m running and running, afraid to get caught, knowing I’ll be punished somehow if I’m caught.  I’m not even aware of my surroundings… which city I’m in or anything like that.  All I know is that I’m running away and I don’t want to get caught.

It’s very apparent to me that this Dreamer is running away from the expectations of his parents.  He feels guilt and regret that his sexual orientation will not lead to marriage with a nice girl and children.  What he’s running away from is the confrontation with his parents about who he really is and what he really wants.  In essence, he's running away from his self-truth.

In high school, my parents began to pressure me to get good grades so I could get into a good college, and I concentrated on my studies and my dreams stopped.  I dated girls and while none of that became serious, it was easy to develop friendships with them.   Still, by the time I went to college, I had acknowledged to myself that I was gay and had already acted on that.  My parents worried that I hadn’t found a “nice girl” yet, and because I knew they wouldn’t be open about my sexuality, I went through the motions of being straight and  never discussed my sexuality with them.

Now, as a young adult with a college degree and a good job, suddenly the recurring dreams of running away have returned.  I’ve moved to another state where I can live openly with my boyfriend… and I still haven’t had that discussion with my parents. 

Because the pressure from his parents has increased now that he’s a young adult, the dreams have also returned.  He loves his parents and doesn’t want to hurt or disappoint them, but his psyche is telling him to find the courage to live his inner truth.  By moving to another state, he has literally “run away” from them, but until his issue is addressed and confronted, these dreams will continue to haunt him.

I would strongly suggest to Dreamer that he seek professional help from someone who can guide him how best to resolve his issue.  He will need to come to a place of self-acceptance where he neutralizes the guilt and fear he is experiencing and come to terms – not only with himself – but with his parents and their expectations.