RAW MEAT IN A SUITCASE

I was having brunch with a friend the other day and she told me her dream.

As background to the dream, she’d been in a relationship with someone which started when they were in high school together, never ended in a mutual commitment then, and while they kept in touch over the years and met up occasionally, and while they each acknowledged a deep abiding love for each other, it just never ended up in a mutual commitment.

They each got involved with other people and even “committed” to other people, but somehow things never reached a point where they were prepared and willing to make it work with each other.  They did try seriously about three or four years ago, and that lasted nearly a year, but ultimately they went separate ways again.

They met up again recently, some forty or so years after they first met and fell in love, and he initiated it because he still yearned to be with her and being without her left a gaping hole in his life.

She was very honest with him.  Her feeling was that it was just not meant to be.  The things which broke them up before still existed, and why put herself through the heartbreak of another inevitable breakup.

There was still the problem of distance.  He lived in another state and had commitments there which he was unwilling to give up (a mother who needed his continuing attention and care; adult children who still needed his guidance in their lives, and so on and so on).  She had commitments too where she currently lived which she felt unable to release.  Neither was willing to relocate for the other.

In any event, he was willing to try again.  She was more practical.  “Nothing has changed from before.  Unless one of us is willing to give up what we each have now, this relationship can never work.”

So he left, miserable but respectful of her wishes.  After he left, she had a dream:

He was packing his suitcase, getting ready to return to his own home in his own state.  Along with his clothes, however, he packed two slabs of raw meat.

That was it… as short and simple as that.  We discussed what this dream meant, and it filled our discussion for nearly an hour.

So what could we possibly have to talk about for an hour over a two-sentence dream?

Plenty… because it isn’t always the events in the dream which convey a message… it’s the subtext.

A suitcase carries baggage.  Metaphorically speaking, baggage is a conveyance for extra clothing which a person might ultimately need for a trip.  Clothing is the protective “façade” which people use to hide their “naked” selves, and at the same time, to express their thoughts and feelings of the moment.  For instance, a suit suggests traditional, restrained, conservative thoughts and feelings.  Goth attire tells others that a person is intrigued by the dark shadowy belief systems which exist on the fringe of acceptance by politically correct society.

In everyday parlance, baggage is a metaphor for issues/memories/belief systems which a person carries around as conveyance of his/her persona of the moment.  Routinely, people walk around with “extra baggage” all the time.

A trip is a journey and said journey can be physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual.

So this man is about to take a journey.  He is about to embark on a serious self-examination of his lifestyle, his beliefs and his priorities.  Not only that, he is determined to get to the “meat” of the situation… the core of whatever issues are creating the problem in his life.  Given the ambiguity of his commitment to this Dreamer, we can assume that he is going to examine deeply and in raw fashion, what elements in his life need to be changed to make this relationship happen.

Humans need “meat” (or appropriate protein substitute) to survive.  This man is going to examine what it is he needs to survive.  Something in him feels that he needs this woman to survive in this world and in this reality. 

Not only does he intend to ponder on the meat of the situation, he plans to do so in a “raw” fashion.  It wasn’t “cooked” meat (i.e., treated to make it more palatable, or more easier to digest or more suited to special preferences), but unmitigated it-is-what-it-is honesty.  He isn’t going to “spice” up the truth.  He isn’t going to pretty it up or mix it in a stew to make it more interesting… or any of that.  He’s ready for raw honesty.

This is a giant step for this man.  One of the characteristics my friend noted about him is that he often tends to “gloss over” the truth of a situation.  This dream is telling her that he is now willing to set that tendency aside. 

He’s ready to deal with the cold, hard facts of their relationship.

She already did this after their most recent breakup.  It sounds like this man is now willing to do the same. 

That in itself is a tribute to how much he loves and values her.  It’s a step in the right direction, and while the dream doesn’t speculate how it might end, or how long it will take, it does categorically imply he’s willing to break out of his “denial” m.o. and we can only imagine the courage it will take to face himself in the mirror in all the raw truth of his imperfections.

What about you?  Do you pack ice cream in your baggage… delicious, soft creamy coolness which is pure paradise to your taste buds?  Or chocolate… that sweet utterly heavenly tasty stuff which easily becomes an addictive pleasure ultimately adding unwelcome pounds to our bodies… fatty tissue which cushion us from harsh realities? 

Life is experience, and we should all experience whatever suits our fancy of the moment.  The trick is to indulge ourselves in the right way, at the right time, and in the right proportions so that, ultimately, it all balances out in the end.

As you can imagine, carrying around raw meat in one’s suitcase isn’t the best solution to one’s problems.  If you forget about it, it’ll spoil and attract maggots and generate a horrible smell after a while.  It’ll destroy everything in that suitcase, including your favorite T-shirt and expensive shoes.

In short, I truly hope this man takes out that raw meat from his suitcase as soon as he gets home, and deal with it as appropriate.

As for you guys, happy snoozles ahead.