ABOUT FRIENDSHIPS (PART II)

This continues from Part I issued on June 13th.  The blue portion is the dream.

(BEGINNING OF PART II)

  In the meantime, I decide that the Red Lines are too tricky, so I hop on a Blue Line train and end up in some futuristic town near NASA (I think in the dream it’s called Toronto).  I find a laid back group of people there who seem to be on relaxing drugs (like Pot or something), and I immediately find their demeanor hilarious and fun to be around.  I keep hearing a song playing from the Blue Line train and I love it, so I try to find out what song it is.  No one knows, and the driver of the Train says that I have to go back to the original Train Station to look at the song playlist posted on a wall over there.  I decide that I'm wasting my time with the druggies and I'd rather find out what song it is.

So Dreamer decides the heart pathways to friendship are too tricky… she trusts the minds-in-sync and sharing-thoughts blue tracks more.  But her psyche isn’t letting her get away that easy.  She is given another scenario to consider… the approach to friendship which is a loose, casual, easygoing, non-demanding type of friendship.  Just relax, tell jokes, make fun of life, and have fun.  There is a reason why people who pursue this type of friendship choose it.  It’s because it’s noncommittal, non-responsible, easy-come/easy-go type of friendship.  They don’t want permanence.  Their need for social exchange is kept to a subliminal need and never brought to the confrontational surface.  Thus, it’s a taunting song in the background of their lives. 

Dreamer, however, prefers to know the meaning of that song rather than live in denial of it.

I go back to the home base, and realize It’s time for the movie to start.  I rush back to work, and I get to the El Capitan Theater that night and after showing my ID, they let me in.  It’s only 6:00 PM, so I have a half hour to spare. I remember that I'm supposed to meet Franat 6:30, and I'm immediately dreading hanging out with her.  She isn't interesting or funny or cool; she's just convenient.  I consider going by myself and standing her up, but I look out the window and see her sitting on the front steps with a bunch of people. I notice that she has a black hat on and I grimace at how ugly it looks.  

It’s interesting that Dreamer’s work feels like the El Capitan Theater in the opening dream sequence), and in this dream sequence, it’s the REAL El Capitan Theater where she goes to see the movie.  It’s life within life and fun within fun.

Anyway in this sequence, Dreamer starts afresh.  She made a commitment and she’s going to follow through on it, though she might end up regretting it.  After all her psychological forays into the components and meaning of friendship, she’s still willing to give Fran a chance, even though Fran isn’t “interesting or funny or cool”… traits which are evidently high on Dreamer’s list of requirements for strong friendships.  Still, convenience is also on her list of requirements, so she’s going ahead to honor her social commitment to Fran.   She notices that Fran is indeed social – hanging out with a bunch of people.  And she thinks that black hats look ugly.

Black is a mixture of all colors possible, and a hat protects and brings attention to the head (i.e., thoughts).  So in this brief view of Fran, Dreamer also realizes that Fran is willing to reciprocate ALL types of friendships (red, blue and all the other colors in the world), and has no qualms letting people know that and even brings attention to that fact herself.  Dreamer, on the other hand, feels friendship without expectations/rules is “ugly.”

In addition, I realize that the place from which I am looking out the window is the girl's room from the FBI training I did.

Then, lo and behold, an important discovery:  The room she’s in as she looks out the window at Fran is the same room as the FBI/CIA “Mole” girl’s  “fully furnished” place.  Her psyche is telling her, “Pay attention.  YOU ARE  THE MOLE ready to betray a friend.”

I get confused as to why that room is in the theater, but 6:30 PM  hits and everyone enters the theatre.  I run to the bathroom to make sure I look pretty and I redo my hair in a neat tie in the back.  As I'm doing this, Fran (no longer wearing her black hat) walks in and I put on an act of pleasant surprise.  I say, "Hey! Let's go see the movie!" She looks confused, but she plays along. When we get outside, another girl joins her (another co-worker), and I realize that they were dates the whole time.  Fran never believed that I sincerely wanted to go with her, so she got a date of her own.  I was very relieved and happy, so I called Lorna, who got there immediately and I saw the movie with her.  I think the movie was an Eddie Murphy Thriller. 

What’s interesting is that despite her annoyance at Fran’s traits and her derision of Fran’s willingness to be friends with just anyone, she still wants to make a good impression.  She puts on an act of pleasant surprise.  She feigns enthusiasm for spending time with her.  In fact, she’s acting like a “fully furnished” person ready for friendship.  Fran is confused, but kind enough to accept Dreamer’s efforts (after all she’s open to friendship with anyone).  And then Dreamer discovers Fran knew along her effort at being  friends isn’t sincere and she never even expected Dreamer to follow through on the social invitation.  (And this is where the “no expectations” clause works out well for Fran-friend-types).

In the end, it doesn’t matter.  Her best pal Lorna is still available and arrives to enjoy the movie with her.  And it’s fun time:  an Eddie Murphy movie?  Right… a comedy. She’s living a dream within her dream.

OVERALL SUMMARY:  There are a lot of messages from the psyche to the Dreamer in this dream.  They’re all important and relevant.

1)   Be true to yourself.  Know your criteria for friendship and stick to them.

2)   “Convenience” is insulting to yourself as a good reason to befriend anyone.  It’ll be an “act” all the way and won’t make you happy.  On the other hand, in making the effort, one can discover things about the other person which merits that person’s friendship after all.

3)   Judging another of a flaw (being a “Mole”) usually boomerangs back to you as your own flaw.

4)   Don’t be so quick to judge another person as unworthy of your friendship.  It’s a measure of YOUR limitation and not theirs.  (Fran has a lot of friends.  Dreamer has only Lorna.)

SNOOZLE on it and I’m sure you’ll come up with a few other messages in this dream that apply to you and me and everyone else.  ‘Til next time.